On this day one year ago, my daddy made his last trip to the hospital. I got the call at 9:15 am. Daddy is in the ER. Chest Pain. Will keep you updated. And I did nothing. No phone calls, emails, Facebook posts… Please pray. This is what I did every single time he went. And every time he walked out those doors. A miracle.
He was admitted that day, never to walk out again. And. I. Did. Nothing.
God are you there?
I’m here.
I am right here.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.
Isaiah 43:2
A stay at home mom, married to my best friend, who loves like Jesus. Together we have four beautiful daughters. One biological, one adopted and two by way of marriage. Our 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome when she was 6 years old and our youngest was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old. I have dealt with chronic illness most of my life and at times has been debilitating. It is through this illness and the special needs of our children that drew us closer to God.
Beyond Borders is the place where I write out my story of living beyond my borders. A place to share of God’s love and grace, His mercy and sovereignty, and what that looks like in my own little world of chronic illness and autism. A place where courage and faith intersect and He moves me to action. My hope in writing is that you find something that inspires you. Encourages you. Makes you smile.
On this day one year ago, my daddy made his last trip to the hospital. I got the call at 9:15 am. Daddy is in the ER. Chest Pain. Will keep you updated. And I did nothing. No phone calls, emails, Facebook posts… Please pray. This is what I did every single time he went. And every time he walked out those doors. A miracle.
Beyond Borders 
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October 13, 2012 at 8:17 am
You did do something…you loved, you prayed, you were his daughter…you were important to him…cherish every memory…cherish the miracles you were given. My Dad went to Florida and didn’t wake up…no goodbyes, no miracles, we didn’t know he was sick…he was grieving…he gave up…we lost him. But he knew I loved him…he knew he was my rock…and I miss him with all my heart..and I know you do too.
October 16, 2012 at 12:30 am
Dianntha, I had no idea… I am so sorry about your dad. I know I had a gift of knowing and did have the chance to say goodbye. I cant imagine your pain. God is faithful… And I am praying for you.
October 13, 2012 at 10:26 am
Don’t beat yourself up too much. As the previous post states you did do something! How could you know that this time after all the other times things worked out ok that this time it wouldn’t?
I will tell you the same thing a nurse told me 30 minutes after my husband died, “do not do the would have, could haves, should haves to yourself as you’ve done all you could do.”
At first those words did not help. At all. I still beat myself up thinking if I had done this or that sooner…etc. But in the end I know now that I did the best I could with what I had to work with and what I knew.
Though I don’t know you I can presume that you too did what YOU could do the best you could do it. Praying sometimes is all that one can do and its a BIG thing to do; besides it worked every time but the last time.
October 16, 2012 at 12:32 am
I did the should have, could haves, would haves… And it has taken a long time to come to terms with that. That I did what I could do, what I was supposed to do, and what God had planned. Thank you for your comment. It really meant a lot.