When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor–sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”
Mark 2:17 (NLT)
I was 18 years old. When my world tilted sideways. When the sickness with no diagnosis struck me and prevented me from doing anything and everything. When the church where I grew up, attended all the services, and special activities, the church where I walked streets with and knocked on doors with its people sharing the gospel, the church where everyone knew my name, knew I was good —that church turned its back and shut the door because a doctor could not find a cause to my sickness.
The church that so adamantly spread the gospel, sharing how God so loved the world He sent His son, made me an outcast —speaking of me and my broken body in rumors and lies.
What is the church if not the very representation of God? Is the church not supposed to be for the broken? Isn’t this what Jesus did here on earth? Did He not sit with all the broken people?
Where do we turn when we need God?
When you reach that place where there is nothing left and you really need Him, but the fear that you are not good enough, and you will be too much and not enough, because this is what you have learned and it is all you know?
How do we know how God will respond, or if He will respond if we reach out to Him? If all we know about God and His character is to fear Him, how can we really know what He is like? When everything I know in my heart is I have somehow let Him down, does He want my broken,—can He handle my broken?
And what if He were sitting right beside me, would I recognize Him? Would you recognize Him?
When all you know is that the fear of the Lord is simply this — fear, where do you turn when everything that you believe in falls apart? Where do you turn when you search your heart for scriptures but all that produces is that God loved the world and all the road that leads you to the cross?
Where do you turn when you know Jesus in your heart, and you have tried to live the “perfect life” and now you are broken, and your brokenness might very well be your undoing because you took the bread and drank the wine. And your heart is simply unclean?
Where do we turn?
Join me tomorrow as we delve deep and answer the question where do you turn?
This post is the second in a series on Chasing Grace :: a journey further up and further in, if you would like to read the whole series go here.