Thirty-one days Walking Through Darkness Day Three :: And Midnight Falls

October 3, 2012 by Shelly Richardson 3 Comments

Who knows what to expect when you walk in the room of a dying person? I surely did not. The events that ensued that day took their toll. And that evening as my voice crackles through tears,I love you daddy, goodbye. Midnight falls.

I hear the clock striking midnight. The earth is breaking wide open. Am I the only one that hears it?

He is lying still on that bed. I close his eyes with my fingers and stroke his forehead. I lay my cheek against his and whisper it… I want to go too daddy. Please let me come. The words of Charlie Rich swimming in my head…

daddy don’t you walk so fast, daddy slow me down some, ’cause you’re making me run. Daddy don’t you walk so fast.

I want to go, daddy, I want to go too.

My eyes stung red with tears, they linger as we leave. The last I will see his physical body. And I am falling. And there is nothing below. And nothing above. Darkness. It’s swallowing me. Does anyone see it?

God are you there?

I’m here.
I am right here.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.

Isaiah 43:2

Author: Shelly Richardson

A stay at home mom, married to my best friend, who loves like Jesus. Together we have four beautiful daughters. One biological, one adopted and two by way of marriage. Our 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome when she was 6 years old and our youngest was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old. I have dealt with chronic illness most of my life and at times has been debilitating. It is through this illness and the special needs of our children that drew us closer to God. Beyond Borders is the place where I write out my story of living beyond my borders. A place to share of God’s love and grace, His mercy and sovereignty, and what that looks like in my own little world of chronic illness and autism. A place where courage and faith intersect and He moves me to action. My hope in writing is that you find something that inspires you. Encourages you. Makes you smile.

3 thoughts on “Thirty-one days Walking Through Darkness Day Three :: And Midnight Falls”

Pingback: Thirty-one Days Walking Through Dark « Beyond Borders
Jessica L
October 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Thank you for doing this, I know it must be so so difficult. My mom is terminally ill and has a very short time left. I can’t imagine my life without my best friend and am hoping reading your 31 days helps me prepare for that awful time that is coming too soon.

- Shelly Richardson
  October 4, 2012 at 12:14 pm
  
  Jessica, oh my, I am so glad you stopped by… I am praying for you! I pray my words give you comfort, help in the preparation. Cherish these moments with your mom.