Beyond Borders

courage. faith. action.

A War Rages


Everyday is a struggle. An uphill battle. A war rages inside. An illness that began when I was just 18 years old.  An illness that keeps me homebound and sometimes bedridden. An illness that brings guilt and anger. Anger that I cannot be who I want to be. Anger that  I could give so much more. Guilt that I have robbed my family of a normal life. Guilt that I have taken a life from my husband, a much deserved life, that he sacrifices everyday for me. An illness not life threatening, but debilitating. 

Today I am thankful for the moment I can spend soaking in sunshine. In this moment He ministers to my heart, my soul. I am reminded that he is in control and gone before me. He has a perfect plan for my life. I surrender. The war ceases and I accept His grace. His sovereignty. I am filled with His peace.

By His grace alone,

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
Jeremiah 29:11

Author: Shelly Richardson

A stay at home mom, married to my best friend, who loves like Jesus. Together we have four beautiful daughters. One biological, one adopted and two by way of marriage. Our 12 year old daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome when she was 6 years old and our youngest was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old. I have dealt with chronic illness most of my life and at times has been debilitating. It is through this illness and the special needs of our children that drew us closer to God. Beyond Borders is the place where I write out my story of living beyond my borders. A place to share of God’s love and grace, His mercy and sovereignty, and what that looks like in my own little world of chronic illness and autism. A place where courage and faith intersect and He moves me to action. My hope in writing is that you find something that inspires you. Encourages you. Makes you smile.

4 thoughts on “A War Rages

  1. Hi Shelly! Thanks fo signing up to follow my blog. Welcome to our crazy adventure of a life! Blessing to you. ~becky

  2. I am always so thankful for sunshine and how God uses it. Sounds crazy but something so simple can truly make a difference. I can't imagine the struggles you face with your illness.

  3. Goodness, girl! I am thanking God for you today. You express in words so well what my heart often feels. You described so well the emotions that have been whirling around inside of me for the past month, as I face the possibility of drastic life change b/c of spine issues. It is a constant choice that I make to allow Him to take my spirit of the anger, frustration and guilt and turn it into joy.

  4. Thanks, Nichole. It is definitely a daily choice, and not one I always choose well. But when I keep my focus on Him, and remember this is the life He chose for me (He does not make mistakes) and there is a reason and purpose for it, my days are joyful! I will be praying for you!

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